Bulbagarden!: Season One
by Laboon's Wrath
Summary: Meet jabber Wocki, Dan See Emm, and more in this dramedy about life, friendship, and fun. A satire of the Pokemon fandom.


Bulbagarden!

By Laboon's Wrath

Chapter One: The Town of Bulbagarden

PLEASE NOTE: This story is a satire of Pokemon fandom. Most of the characters featured within are exaggerations of members of the fandom. Some are portrayed as villains, but this is not to be taken seriously, and the author has a great deal of respect for the concerned individuals. The webmasters of sites besides the Bulbagarden network that are portrayed as villains are not like that in real life. Thank you for your time.

_Jabber_

My name is Jabber Wocki. I live in a town in the south of Kanto called Bulbagarden. It's called that because of the innumerable wild Bulbasaur that live here. The Bulbasaur were considered sacred to the founders of Bulbagarden, and they remain a significant part of our culture to this day.

I'm not what you'd call an unusual kid. I go on dates with girls, do well in school, I have a part-time job at the Bulbagarden Zoo, and my family is of the average, nuclear variety. I have blonde hair, green eyes, and Caucasian skin. I live in a suburban neighborhood with my best friend, Dan See Emm, and I own a few Pokémon (I don't battle with them, of course; non-wild Pokémon battling was banned years ago), and so does he. Perfectly normal.

Of course, that would all change when a new girl arrived in our neighborhood. At least, it would eventually. But I'll get to that later. Right now, I think it's time for introductions.

Bulbagarden's residents are pretty varied. There's my friend Jamie Hollister, former Pokémon battler William, Wipsy the janitor, Johan the botanist, Jay Morrison, the only female usher at the local theater, the high school's queen bee (and total bitch) Annabelle, my uncle Saturn Yoshi, my adopted cousin Keldora, and last-year high school student Jack Reynolds.

There's also some other, less notable residents, like the one they call 'Pokémon Prince.' He's not actually a very good writer, but he insists that he's the top of his writing class.

The ruler of Bulbagarden is the kindly Archaic the Mayor. He makes all the rules and laws of Bulbagarden, along with his team of helpers, called Admins. He also has the authority to, if someone has broken too many rules too many times, banish (or 'ban,' for short) someone from Bulbagarden. These 'bans' are never permanent, and people almost always return from them a more law-abiding person.

Anyway, to the story. It all began when me and Dan met up at Bulbagarden High School, right as the first day of school was about to begin.

"'Sup, Jabber?" Dan said to me, punching my shoulder playfully.

"Nothing," I replied. "How are thing with you?"

"Not very good," he said. "My parents found out about my Skype, and they kind of had a hissy fit."

"Grounded?" I asked.

"Grounded," he confirmed.

Just then, a car drove up to the school. It was a green Camaro, and the girl who emerged from it was one I hadn't seen before – and was breathtakingly gorgeous.

She had long, light brown hair that grew to the middle of her back and turquoise eyes. She had slightly pale skin, and wore a white shirt and jeans. She looked fragile, like a glass figurine.

"Dude," Dan whispered to me. "Dibs."

"No way, you already have Kitty," I whispered back.

"Doesn't matter."

"Does too!"

"Does not."

"Whatever," I said, and I walked over to her. "Hello," I said to her, holding out my hand. "My name is Jabber Wocki. I don't think I've seen you around here before."

"I'm new," she said, shaking my hand. "My name is Alison Sanford."

"Well, nice to meet you, Alison," I said. "I look forward to getting to know you."

She smiled. "Same here, Jabber Wocki."

ΩΩΩ

First period of the first day of sophomore year was geography. For the umpteenth time in our lives we learned the nations of the world: the Kanto-Johto Democratic Alliance (with territories in the Orange and Sevii Islands, and Erummo's Islands), the United Kingdom of Hoenn and Frontier Island, the Sinnoh Kingdom (territories: Iron, Fullmon, and Newmoon Islands, lus the Battle Zone), Fioreslaalmia, Orre, and Corna. Me and Dan pretended to snore at each other, got caught, and got in trouble.

Third period (this being a 'B' day) was Pokémon Studies, my favorite class. My Uncle Saturn came in and gave a lecture about legendary Pokémon. Legendaries had been his passion ever since his encounter with Lugia when he was young. He collected and studied legendaries for the Bulbagarden Zoo, and had personally caught its Heatrand and Shaymin. I told Alison this after class, and she seemed impressed.

Lunch break followed this. Dan, Jamie, Jack and I sat together at a table like we always did. Dan invited Alison over, but she declined.

The day continued on as it normally would. Not much of it was particularly exciting, and Dan managed to restrain himself, which made me glad. He only got sent to the principal's office once.

After school, me and Dan began walking home like always. Suddenly, Alison called out: "Hey, Jabber, wait up!"

I looked at Dan. "Don't wait up on me, pal," I said to him, patting him on the back.

"Jerk," I heard him mutter as I walked over to Alison.

"What is it?" I asked Alison.

"I was wondering," she began, "since I'm new here and all, do you think you could take me out to see the city's sights later? We could get dinner afterwards."

"You mean… like a date?"

"Like a kind-of date."

I grinned. "Sounds good to me. I've got my driver's license, so I can pick me up. When do you want to go?"

"Maybe we could leave at five tonight?"

"Sounds good. See you at five!"

"See you then."

I began racing to catch up with Dan, eager to tell him the news.

ΩΩΩ

Meanwhile, somewhere in a hidden part of Viridian Forest, a mysterious man was plotting something.

"Soon, I shall have enough of an army to storm Bulbagarden and take it for myself!" the man said out loud. "Yes… indeed. Archaic will rue the day he banned Joe Serebii! Hahahahahahahahaha!"

_To be continued…_


End file.
